Some of my female clients told me, “When I was over the phone, the other end always addressed me as sir.” While some of my male clients said, “When I was on the phone, they always thought I was a woman!”
Clearly, there’s an unconscious criterion in our society on how a man sounds and how a woman sounds.
There are indeed many criteria. Here, let’s look at two major criterion.
1. Pitch
Women’s voices are in general higher-pitched than men’s, due to the size and the thickness or thinness of the vocal cords, one of the factors that determine the pitch of our voices. Women’s vocal cords are smaller and thinner, which generates a higher-pitch. Men’s vocal cords are bigger and thicker, thus a lower-pitched voice.
For men with a high-pitched voice, it’s likely that their vocal cords are smaller and thinner. That doesn’t mean that they have to resort to vocal cords surgery, which is risky. The good news is that, besides vocal cords, resonance also determines the pitch of our voices. What these men need to do is to develop full resonance in their voices. When it is achieved, they’ll not only speak with a deep voice, but also project more confidence.
2. Warmth and Empathy
For women with a voice that sounds like a man, it could be because of the size and thickness of their vocal cords, in which case, they’ll need to develop full resonance too, to make their voice sound warmer, an essential quality of a female voice.
For women with a voice that sounds like a man, it could also be because of the unnecessary force used in the voice projection. In this case, the voice will sound too heavy and forceful, which is not a quality of a female voice by the unconscious common opinion in our society.
A woman’s voice is supposed to be warm, empathetic and nurturing, the different qualities between men and women. How can you project warmth, empathy and nurture in the voice, or not project such voice? The secret is in the air, the breath.
Now, this is not to ask you to fake it. Breath is life, breath is essence, and breath is soul. You can’t fake your breath. How you use your breath can always be heard. When you are nervous, you hold your breath. It can be heard in the voice, shaky, high-pitched or fast-paced. It can be manifested in your body, tight, rigid and confined. When you are calm and composed, it is reflected in your voice and body differently.
So, this is to ask you to pay attention to your breath and manage your breath to manage your voice and your state of mind.
Join one of our upcoming workshops to learn how you can have a voice that reflects who you are HERE
